I Am 43 and I Like Me

Today I turned 43. I’m in my 40s. I’m middle aged. I can remember high school like it was yesterday but it was 25 years ago. How did that happen? Where did my 30s go?

I’m 43 and probably the most comfortable I have ever been with myself. I probably know myself better than I ever have. I like being 43.

I have a son who is graduating from high school in two months. When I was graduating from high school, I had big dreams. I was going to be a civil engineer and travel to Africa and design sewer systems and develop water sources. Then I realized I didn’t enjoy those engineering classes and three colleges, three majors, and seven years later I was a teacher – an English teacher.

Seven years later and my life’s plan was already on version 967. Throw in some failed relationships and it was version 1178.

So now I’m 43 and on version 3567. I am not living the life I had envisioned for myself and that’s ok. I am living the life I have been given. Sure, I would have liked a much easier one, but then I wouldn’t be the person I am at 43.

So who am I at 43?

I am a multitude of things.

I’m a daughter, mother, sister, girlfriend (I hate that word– I’m not a girl) teacher, friend, and most recently an adventurer. But I don’t want any one of those titles to solely define me. I’m too diverse to wear just one label. Yes, I’m Hunter’s mom but I am much more than just that. I want to be more than just that. I want to be ME.

At the moment that me is still continuing to change who I am, and I hope to continually evolve and change as a person. I don’t want to become stagnant in my life. I want to experience and live a life that leads me on new adventures and where I continue to learn. I am a student at heart.

It probably comes with age, like 43 years worth, but I am comfortable with who I am. I learned in my late 30s that only I can provide my own happiness. I have no problem going to a restaurant and eating alone. In fact I have no problem being alone. I like ME! I’m okay spending time with just ME. That’s not to say I don’t want other people in my life. I like having Aaron around, but I know how to make myself happy.

So back to not becoming stagnant in my life, this blog we have started is pushing me to experience things I may not have done before. We must do this in the name of Lagom! With all these new adventures, the possibilities of who I can be are endless.

If you would told me three years ago that I would be a hiker,I wouldn’t have believed you. But then Aaron and I did a few hikes then Katie and I did some hikes, and now I need to hike. Hiking is a part of me at 43. It makes me wonder how different I will be at 53.  I am excited for the chance at a new and better me.

So if I am here to “give you a message” then I would say:

“Like – even love yourself; embrace and make the most of the life you have at the moment; and always be willing to change and evolve because version 797, or whatever outrageous number you are on, just might be the best you yet.”