Learning to Be Satisfied

With the Labor Day Weekend behind us, summer is unofficially over.  For some of us who started back to school a few weeks ago, mentally it has been over longer. With this time comes the proverbial question, “Did you have a good summer?”  It is sort of like the question, “How are you?” It’s expected to be asked, but does anyone really want the full rundown of my summer? Not really.

So I’ve had coworkers and students ask about my summer and I have responded with “Good. Had a nice vacation.” And that’s about it.

But then the overthinker in my head makes a run through the bulleted  list.

What I did this this summer:

• Worked three weeks of summer school
• Hiked Half Dome – 18 miles
• Had a nine day road trip with my family from Missouri to California
• Canned 60-70 jars of pickles and chow chow
• Picked blueberries and blackberries
• Finished several quilts
• Cleaned out one closet
• Spent three days in Jefferson City for training
• Picked up a job waiting tables to earn some extra money

And then there is the OTHER list running through my head.

THINGS I DIDN’T DO THIS SUMMER:

• Clean out my laundry room
• Hike for two months because it was too hot, overgrown, and full of ticks
• Make jam like I should have to get ahead Finish the blogs from my vacation
• Read more books
• Finish a few more Christmas orders for quilts
• Knock a few more things off my bucket list
• Kayak
• Started the extra job earlier in the summer
• Gutted my bedroom

…And the list goes on

I can’t deny that I had a good summer. I want to say great but can’t bring myself to do it just because of all the things I didn’t do that I should have done. And I hate the fact that I feel guiltier about what I didn’t do then proud about what I did do.

When I wasn’t doing all those things that I should have been doing, I was more than likely lying in my recliner watching Netflix and enjoying the air conditioning. And I loved every minute of it!  Yet, I can’t add that to my list of things I did this summer because I don’t feel that it is acceptable. Even though I needed that time to rest, relax, and recharge. I probably wouldn’t have accomplished as much as I did if I didn’t take those down days. Yet the guilt still lingers.

I spent some of my “down” time creating.

I saw a quote once that said, “The Time You Enjoy Wasting Is Not Wasted Time.” And in my heart I know this, but my head betrays me by overthinking and analyzing “my summer itinerary.”

I have been feeling this angst more lately and I’m not sure if it’s because I’m on the verge of a midlife crisis or with this blog I realize that there are so many things I want to do but don’t have the time, money, or energy to do them. I’m 43 and I’ve come to the realization that I only have so many summers left to take those once in a lifetime vacations or to try all those things I haven’t done yet. I compile the weekly list of recommendations and there are always several things I want to do each week, but they just don’t happen for whatever reason. And yet I don’t spend my entire week slacking, but it still feels like I should be doing more.

So as I begin to mentally start my Fall To-Do List, I am going to set some goals for myself, but also going to work on the mindset of  “what I get done is enough and if it isn’t everything then that’s fine too.”  I need to learn to be satisfied with my accomplishments and realize that’s “enough.” My ultimate goal is to have a “Fantastic Fall” with no guilt attached!

So I am wondering, am I the only one that struggles with this? Do you always feel like you should be doing more? Or do you have any suggestions on how to overcome it?