You Deserve to Feel Free – What I Learned From Tom Petty

I am not exactly sure where I am going with this as I start but maybe in the middle of it I will find my sense of direction.

I am a Tom Petty fan. Have been for years. So with his death this week, I am a little mixed with  emotions. No I haven’t cried or wept or been physically upset but I have been affected. But putting that into words has been a bit difficult for me.

I would say my first real recollection of Tom Petty and his music would have been through MTV and those crazy videos – dining with Alice in Wonderland, dancing with a corpse, and riding an elevator through an empty shopping mall. Those were videos that made lasting visual impressions on me. But those songs have lasted because they were more than just the crazy videos, they were good songs.

To me back then the music was about the beat, the mood, and just singing along at the top of my lungs, cranking up the radio (yes physically turning that knob).. It made me want to move – tap my foot, nod my head – my own subtle version of “rock out.” Catch me at a stoplight while “Last Dance With Mary Jane” is on and you may do a double take.

I’m a reader. I love stories. Those songs – Tom Petty songs – told stories. Stories people could relate to; stories that people would remember.  It wasn’t about the occasional drug references or anything illicit that attracted me to those songs.  I actually overlooked all that. It was about being an American Girl, putting on a party dress, shouting “Oh my my! Oh hell yes!”.  It was about free falling, learning to fly and going into the great wide open.

As I’ve gotten older the attraction of those songs has changed. It’s not about blasting it and singing along; it’s about the lyrics and making an emotional connection. At one point in my life, I owned the Wildflowers CD. I played it often and sang along, but even then I think I was more connected to the music and not the words. Somewhere in my journey to adulthood the switch happened and it became about the lyrics – the message.

I’ve seen one band three times in my life – Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers. And I haven’t ever been disappointed. After the first concert in 2008, I knew my dad would need to see them, so we went again in 2010. The two of us in the middle of the lawn seats at Riverport (It will always be Riverport) where the two guys next to us thought we were married.  It was quite the experience.  I think that was the first of our concerts with just the two of us. When I didn’t have anyone else to go, I would drag my dad along.

The last concert was just this past May. Aaron surprised me with really good seats for Mother’s Day. The indoor concert was even better. Over two hours of songs Everyone I could sing along with and so could everyone else that  was there.  There weren’t fancy fireworks or show-stopping visual effects.  Nothing but just rocking music.

A recent Billboard article describes those songs as “. . .  they were songs that you lived for your entire life, songs whose casual, chiming perfection very unassumingly lodged in your heart forever.”  I would say that’s what happened to me.  They lodged in my heart forever. Became a part of me without me even realizing it and yet here they are to stay.

Looking at these “poems” or lyrics one can learn some valuable life lessons.  Here’s what I have learned from Tom Petty.  My list could be ongoing but here is what stands out to me.

Lessons Learned From Tom Petty

1. “American Girl “

Well, she was an American girl

Raised on promises

She couldn’t help thinkin’

That there was a little more to life somewhere else

I’ve learned that all of us American girls don’t have to feel alone.  It was/is comforting to know that others were out there thinking that there was more to life.  That we may have been raised on promises but we didn’t have to settle for just that.  We could daydream and want more for ourselves.

2. “I Won’t Back Down”

Well I won’t back down, no I won’t back down

You could stand me up at the gates of hell

But I won’t back down

Anyone who knows me knows that I can be a stubborn person.  And if it is a cause or idea that I believe in then I am willing to fight for it and won’t back down.  I hope I never have to stand at the gates of hell and I’m not quite sure I am willing to go that far for anything.  But in general, I won’t back down from what I believe in.  I’m sure plenty of people won’t always appreciate this trait, but if I am fighting on your behalf then know that I am not giving up easily.

3. “You Don’t Know How It Feels”

You don’t know how it feels

You don’t know how it feels to be me

I would say this is pretty straightforward.  You DON’T know how I feel or what I have been through, so you don’t get to have a say about it.  I guess you can think what you want or judge how you will, but think twice before telling me about it.  This would be a good reminder for everyone.  You don’t know what baggage others are carrying, so don’t be so quick to judge or cast blame on others.

4. “Even the Losers”

Baby even the losers

Get lucky sometimes

Even the losers

Keep a little bit of pride

They get lucky sometimes

Just when you think all is lost or there is no hope.  Just remember that even the losers can manage a little good luck every once in awhile.  So if you think you have hit rock bottom, be aware that at some point your luck will change.  What a song of hope? You may be a loser but all is not lost.  Lol  Maybe what I like about this is that there is a hint of hope in there, but yet it is grounded in reality.   I think that may be a good description of me – hopeful yet grounded.

5. “You Got Lucky”

Yeah go, but remember good love

Is hard to find

You got lucky babe

Yeah you got lucky

When I found you

It’s always important to remember our own self worth.  That sometimes people are lucky to have us even if they don’t realize or appreciate it.  And if you do leave, just remember how good I was to you and that you were the lucky one – not me.  I wasn’t lucky to have you in my life; you were lucky to have me.

6. “Don’t Come Around Here No More”

Don’t come around here no more

Don’t come around here no more

Whatever you’re looking for

Hey! don’t come around here no more

I’ve given up, I’ve given up

I’ve given up on waiting any longer

I’ve given up, on this love getting stronger

After you have left and don’t realize just how lucky you are to have had me, don’t come back once you do.  Just a nice little reminder to not let those negative vibes back into your life.  Don’t be afraid to say “NO.” Don’t be afraid to cut those negative people out of your life. Don’t let them back into your life to mess up what happiness that you have found.

7. “Wildflowers”

You belong among the wildflowers

You belong in a boat out at sea

Sail away, kill off the hours

You belong somewhere you feel free

Run away, find you a lover

Go away somewhere all bright and new

I have seen no other

Who compares with you

You belong among the wildflowers

You belong in a boat out at sea

You belong with your love on your arm

You belong somewhere you feel free

Run away, go find a lover

Run away, let your heart be your guide

You deserve the deepest of cover

You belong in that home by and by

You belong among the wildflowers

You belong somewhere close to me

Far away from your trouble and worry

You belong somewhere you feel free

You belong somewhere you feel free

I would say this has become my favorite Tom Petty song if I had to name just one.  I almost feel as if it has become my personal motto -“Go where you feel free.”  Life is stressful and as adults we have a multitude of responsibilities.  There is nothing better than finding a few stolen moments where you can shed those burdens and feel free.  Finding those moments can come in different forms.  It may be in a field of wildflowers or the hammock in the backyard.  Wherever it is everyone deserves to feel free if only for a few moments here and there. I hope everyone can find their own field of wildflowers.

You belong somewhere you feel free.

RIP Tom